19 weeks

I feel like I look a little misshapen in this picture but oh well...

How Far Along: 19 weeks

Total Weight Gain: I will find out tomorrow at my doctor appointment. I almost bought a scale this week but decided I don't want to focus on the number on the scale but instead having healthy babies.

Maternity Clothes: Yes, and I got some cute shirts for Christmas and a couple of pair of comfy pants at H&M the other day.

Stretch Marks: none yet

Best Moment this Week: Christmas. I loved opening presents for Brayden and Camden (I don't know if I have posted that on here yet but Brayden Kenneth and Camden Joseph are the names we picked out). We got our glider/recliner for the nursery from Brett's parents and very cute clothes!

Movement: I am having a hard time distinguishing kicks right now...hopefully I will be able to feel them more in the coming weeks

Food Cravings: Nothing specific... I am just hungry in general.

Belly Button Innie or Outtie: Innie

What are You Looking Forward to this Week: Tomorrow morning is our anatomy scan. I am excited to see our little guys. They said it takes about 45 minutes per baby so lots of baby viewing time!

18 weeks!!

How Far Along: 18 weeks! Our goal is 36 weeks so today is the halfway point. And I must say, the first half has gone by so quickly and with lots to do the next couple months, I feel like before we know it our little guys will be here!

Total Weight Gain: Hmm yeah, haven't weighed myself but I know I've gained weight. I feel like I've gotten bigger in the past week.

Maternity Clothes: Yup... all maternity clothes, although some random shirts or sweaters can still fit and are just snug on my belly.

Stretch Marks: nope...**fingers crossed**
Best Moment this Week: Being asked how far along I am. I just love that I look pregnant!

Movement: I just told Brett last night that I haven't really felt anything lately but I've been pretty much always on the go, trying to clean our house and get things ready for Christmas. Although, he still insists he feels them :)

Food Cravings: Nothing really.
Belly Button Innie or Outtie: Innie but I think it's getting more shallow.

What are You Looking Forward to this Week: Christmas!!! and Brett having a week and a half off work.

And for a bonus... my mom sent me a box with Christmas presents and a couple of baby outfits. How stinking cute are these!

17 weeks!

How Far Along: 17 weeks!

Total Weight Gain: Well, we don't have a scale so I usually use my Wii fit. But after it telling me I am overweight last week, i haven't weighed myself. We need to buy a scale because it's not seeing your Mii grow fatter when really I am just pregnant with twins!

Maternity Clothes: All my pants are maternity. In fact, my awesome mother in-law insisted I buy some good maternity jeans so I bought a couple pairs and LOVE them! I can still wear some of my regular shirts but they are just getting snug so I have a good mix of maternity and regular.

Stretch Marks: Nope

Best Moment this Week: Laying in bed and feeling one or both of the babies move.

Movement: See previous. I can only guess it was the babies. It sort of felt like getting flicked from the inside. B is so cute...he will put his hand on my stomach and say oh I felt them! (completely joking around because he knows he can't) but i cannot wait until he can feel them!

Food Cravings: Nothing really specific...I'm just really hungry. I've noticed it I go more then 2 hours without eating, I get a headache. So, tomorrow I am on a mission to get healthy snacks to have around.

Belly Button Innie or Outtie: Innie.

What are You Looking Forward to this Week: Finishing Christmas shopping, B having Friday off and getting things ready for his parents to come next week.

'Tis the Season

I was so excited to decorate this Christmas. Last Christmas, Brett was deployed so I was at my parent's house. So this year, I got to put up our own decorations that have only been used for one year. I actually forgot what all I had. Our living room is a little small with a larger sectional so no room in the living room. Our tree is in the dining room and although it's in a weird spot, it looks beautiful. I love waking up every morning to the Christmas tree all bright and beautiful. I have it on a timer to turn on right before I wake up!

This Christmas is going to be bitterswe

et. I am very excited because my In-Laws (Mother in-law, Father in-law and Sister in-law) will be down here. But, it'll be my first Christmas away from my family so it'll be a little sad. I am thankful that Brett's family will be down here though because he didn't get a real Christmas last year and really deserves one this year since he won't have one again next year. Dang deployments!

This year is extra special too because we've got our little babies cookin' this year. Next year, I know it'll be hard because it'll be our boys' first Christmas and Brett won't be here but I know our families will do everything they can to help us have a great Christmas.

I am what you can call a "moto" wife aka motivational wife. I have a very love/hate relationship with the Marine Corps but at the end of the day, I love the Marine Corps (and all our military branches). The past two Christmases I have bought Brett Marine Corps stockings. The original one was in our Christmas belongings in storage last year so I ordered another one to send to Afghanistan. So this year... I have two and I hung them very proudly.

We don't have snow...I don't have my family but we are going to have a wonderful Christmas here in sunny California (well, it's actually raining at the moment) and I cannot wait!

15 weeks!

I have been horrible about updating. We were in Arizona for Thanksgiving and since we've been back, I have been busy decorating and preparing for Christmas.

We had our 15 week appointment on Monday and everything looks great. We got to see both babies moving around. I gained 8 lbs in 5 weeks... EEK! but I blame that on Thanksgiving... haha! Our next appointment is on the 20th and I will be 18 weeks. They do the full scan as well as an appointment with the doctor. Not my doctor because he is out of town since it's the week of Christmas but I have to see all the doctors in the practice anyways so I'll be seeing another one.

But...Brett and I do not have much patience (mostly me) so we decided to go to a 3D ultrasound to do a gender reveal. It was amazing! They told me to drink a fruit smoothie before I got there so I did and man was it worth it! Baby B was moving all around, doing flips, kicking and moving. Baby A was just chilling...not moving as much. Right away, we could tell Baby B was a boy. He wasn't too shy about showing his stuff off. Baby A, on the other hand, was shy with legs all bent up and crossed. After much time and probing by the ultrasound tech, we found out Baby A is also a boy. So... two boys!

I won't lie... I was nervous at first. But after letting it settle, I am very excited. Boys will be really different for me but different is good. I am raised in a family of 4 girls...I have three nieces (two of which I have been around since birth) and a nephew. I haven't gotten to see my nephew as much so it's just a new thing for me. But after seeing how excited Brett is, I cannot help but be excited. He was all smiles throughout the entire ultrasound. He is so extremely happy and it just makes me so happy and excited. I am excited he will have his little guys to work in the garage with him and we'll have us some little hockey players or football players...or whatever they decide.

We've been playing the name game since then. We have one name for sure but the second name is still up in the air. We have some possibilities but nothing set in stone.

We decided to do another 3D ultrasound at 19 weeks...The tech said that is the best time for twins because after that, things start getting tighter in there. My In-Laws will be in town then so we are going to all go so they can watch too. Again I will say... it's amazing! Technology amazes me. We got the whole ultrasound on video and I've watched it multiple times just smiling the entire time.

So, that's about it. My belly is growing...our babies are growing and look great so I couldn't ask for anything more.

Happy Veteran's Day!

Today, we remember those who have and continue to fight for our freedom. We remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice so we can continue to live free. We think of those in foreign land and pray they come home safely. We think of the families of our Veteran's who are along side of their spouses, parents, children for support and encouragement. We think of the families who have lost a loved one in war.

It makes me sad that people view today as "a day off work" when in reality, it's about honoring those who fought/fight so we can live our lives and have all the great things we have.

"This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave." - Elmer Davis

I am proud to say that I am married to a Veteran. I am married to a man who is willing to stand up and fight for our country and for that, I love him even more. I have a sense of pride being able to say, my husband is a United States Marine and has fought for our country. I couldn't be more proud of him and all our Veteran's.

So thank you... thank you for your service. Thank you for your courage and strength.

12 weeks!

How Far Along: 12 weeks!

Total Weight Gain: 3.5 lbs. (that's .5 from last week)

Maternity Clothes: Yup. I ordered a lot off eBay the other day and should be getting it in a couple days. I've been wearing regular tops and maternity tops. Depends on if I want to look big or not because tight fitting clothes make me look big!

Best Moment this Week: We went to Baby R Us this weekend and registered for some stuff. Early I know but I'm a planner and wanted to do it before Christmas since I'm going to Alaska in January for my baby shower. We just did a of the basics.

Food Cravings: Biscuits and gravy... lol. We were at the commissary and I asked Brett if I could pick up stuff for biscuits and gravy and he said he doesn't want to eat it anymore but I can. Poor guy :)

What are You Looking Forward to this Week: Brett has a 4 day weekend!!

11 weeks!

How Far Along: 11 weeks!

Total Weight Gain: 3 lbs. But in my defense (besides that I am pregnant with twins), I hadn't weighed myself in almost 2 weeks.

Maternity Clothes: Yeah. I definitely need to invest in a good pair of maternity jeans. I bought capris and have been living in them.

Best Moment this Week: Not baby related but Brett got promoted yesterday and I got to pin on his new rank. It was a great day and I am so proud of him!

Food Cravings: French fries..that probably explains the weight gain :) That and the Halloween candy!

What are You Looking Forward to this Week: Saturday Brett and I are going to go to Babies r Us and look at the baby stuff we want and maybe start a registry. I don't care if people think it's too early. The big things we want are gender neutral so won't matter about the sex.

10 weeks!

How Far Along: 10 weeks!

Total Weight Gain: 0 right now. I haven't weighed myself in a couple days though so that may have changed.

Maternity Clothes: My pants I am for sure in maternity pants. All of my regular tops still fit but I did buy a couple maternity tops

Best Moment this Week: Well, not baby related but we found out Brett is getting promoted Monday and I am very excited for that!

Food Cravings: Biscuits and Gravy...and I've had it twice and feel like I could eat it every day!

What are You Looking Forward to this Week: My first OB appointment on Wednesday!

9 weeks

I had a 9 week ultrasound on Monday and everything looks perfect. Baby A is measuring one day behind Baby B but they said that is completely normal. They both had great heartbeats. Baby B was a little faster. While measuring Baby A, our Dr. was pointing out the arms, legs, heartbeat, head, etc...and we saw the baby's little arm move around. We all just were starring at the screen. I was amazed! Onto Baby B, while she was measuring everything, the baby started moving it's arms, legs, and head. It was almost like the baby was dancing in there. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Brett and I haven't stopped talking about how awesome it was and I know as they grow, it'll amaze us every time!

We graduated from our RE and have our first OB appointment on Wednesday (next week). I am a little nervous but so excited. My ovaries are still very large so Dr. wants me to take it easy and not work out or anything (little does she know, I barely even get dressed anymore I am so sick and tired!)

Brett is starting to get SO excited and I love it so much. The last couple nights, he just lays in bed and tells me the most random things. He insists that Baby A is a boy, Baby B is boy because of the heartbeats. We'll see in about 10 weeks. He said last night, I can't wait to have pack n plays in the corner of our bedroom with two little babies in them. I was asking if he is going to actually get up and help me since he does work long hours. He said we'll see, maybe I'll take from when I get off work until like 10 p.m. Well, lately he hasn't been getting home until 8 p.m. Hmmm so you are going to help for 2 hours?! I know he will help out a lot though. I am not worried in the least. He has said he isn't looking forward to gross diapers (really, who is?) and doesn't want to change diapers until the umbilical cord has fallen off because that grosses him out. But I just love how he keeps randomly saying things. I know he is constantly thinking about our babies and me. Every day he comes home and touches my belly (well, bloat) and says, how are you and my babies doing?

On a completely different note, my sister, brother in law and nieces moved to Arizona and I SO excited that they are just one state away now! I can't wait to see them over Thanksgiving!

6w,3d

And two perfect heartbeats! Today really could not be any better of a day! I had some cramping last night which totally freaked me out but my RE reassured me that it's just my body making room for TWO perfect babies.

He said everything looks perfect. One baby is measuring 6weeks, the other is measuring 6 weeks and 1 day. We got to see and hear their heartbeats and my heart just completely melted. I could not be any happier. Brett insists that because one heartbeat was slower then the other, the one is a boy and the other is a girl. The Dr. said oh no, I say two girls! (but of course none of us really know!)

So here are our beautiful little babies...they've already grown so much from last week. Our next appointment is the 18th and I cannot wait to see how much bigger they get by then!

TWINS!

Today was our first ultrasound. I was really nervous going into it and am still a little nervous but the Dr. said everything looks great and right where it's suppose to be. And we indeed have two sacs and two yolks.

We go in next Thursday for another ultrasound and to hear the heartbeat. He said after we hear the heartbeat, we have a less then 5% of miscarriage. So, I will feel a lot better after next week. We go in again on the 18th after Brett gets home from the field and we will graduate from our RE at that point.

So exciting!! And of course, Brett insists it's two boys because he can just tell since they are 2mm.. lol, like he has something to compare it to.

Well Hello Morning Sickness!

I spoke too soon. I felt fine yesterday morning, ate a bowl of cereal which I never eat cereal and within an hour, I was throwing up. It last for about 4 hours that I just felt horrible. It ended up going away later in the afternoon after I snacked on saltine crackers all day. But I will say, I've never been so happy to throw up. I'm pregnant and every second of sickness or being uncomfortable will be completely worth it come May.

My first ultrasound is tomorrow at 5weeks and 4 days. I kn

ow we won't be able to see much but we'll be able to see how many sac's are in there. Brett SWEARS it's two but we'll see tomorrow. I'm a little nervous. I just want everything to be okay.

Because I am completely confident in myself and back to my normal self, I thought I would post my first couple weeks worth of photos which you can clearly see the OHSS and bloat.

This is week 1 (starting week of stims)

This is Embryo Transfer Day

This is OHSS at it's worst (or close to... a couple days later is when I get my abdomen drained) which is around 4 weeks

This is 5 weeks (and back into my regular jeans...and I've lost another 5 lbs since this picture)

I feel back to normal for the most part. My regular jeans fit me and I am only like 2 lbs away from my normal weight which I am completely okay with. It's crazy to see how bloated and rock hard my stomach was at my worst OHSS but I figure that's how I will look again in couple months!

5 weeks today and finally feel normal!

After over a week of being extremely bloated, I am starting to feel normal again. I've lost about 5lbs in the past 3 days and I know it's all of fluid. My stomach is a lot less bloated looking but still bloated. Most of my clothes still don't fit but I suppose I should get use to that.

I've realized that I am getting really antsy about our ultrasound. I keep wondering to myself "what if there is no baby there?" I know I am worrying over nothing. I haven't had any major cramping or no spotting or bleeding but I don't feel like I have a ton of symptoms otherwise. My sister continues to remind me that it is still very early. Some women don't even know they are pregnant this early. She said her symptoms didn't kick in until 6 weeks. I almost feel like I'd feel most comforted if I did have morning sickness or something.

Our ultrasound is schedule for next Monday. I am working on moving it to Friday since B has Friday off and he has already taken so many days off for IVF. I'll be 5 weeks and 4 days on Friday so I don't know if that is too early for their standards. Next Monday I'll be 6 weeks so I know every day makes a difference. We'll see what they say.

On a little bit sadder but good note, B sold his motorcycle. He had been talking about selling it and getting a cheap commuter car which will be safer. Well, the little extra push to sell (besides me being pregnant) was the transmission on our SS is going out and we need to replace it. So, we should get everything taken care of this week. One of his buddies from work is planning on buying it. His wife is also pregnant... 6 months I think but doesn't have the same thinking of B I suppose.

Beta #2

Well, I am definitely pregnant. My beta today was 527 so it more then doubled since Monday. The nurses at the office have bets going on that they think it's twins but we will see on the 27th at our first ultrasound. So, I go in the 27th for our first ultrasound which will be at 6 weeks. I will go in again on the 4th for our second ultrasound. Brett will be in the field for that one so that's a bummer but we will have one again on the 18th and that is the one where they do a little graduation and make a deal about everything so I'd rather him at that one.

Brett is so excited but keeps saying, can they just be here already? They as in "his twin boys" that he swears I am growing. I know he will be happy regardless though.

I am planning a trip back to Alaska while Brett is in the field and I am SO excited to see my family. I've been really homesick lately so it'll be nice to spend 10 days with my nieces, sisters and parents.

Beta #1 in

I got my blood draw done two days earlier then scheduled because I was at the office getting an ultrasound. So, the great news as my nurse would say is " I am very pregnant". Yesterday 9dp5dt and my beta was 231. Usually at 11dp5dt they are looking for a number around 100 so I am two days early and over double the number they are looking for. Her theory: multiples but we will see next week at our first ultrasound. I go in tomorrow for another blood draw to make sure it's doubled.

On the down side, I ended up getting my stomach drained and getting a chest x-ray. I don't know if the doctors did something wrong but it hurt to get my stomach drained. I could feel them moving around in my stomach when they put the small tube in. I kept tensing up and started sweating. It was short but no fun.

There was another lady getting the same procedure done while I was there. This is her second time getting drained from IVF in the past two weeks. She is also pregnant. I hope that was it for me and this will all go away. I did feel better after I had it done. My stomach felt a lot less tight but it's still sensitive. I know a lot of that is from the enormous ovaries I have right now. I am still having a little difficulty breathing but it may just be that I am getting a chest cold or something. They did an x-ray but I never heard the results so the nurse told me she would find out and get back with me.

So, right now... I am pregnant. 4 weeks and 1 day.

OHSS...please go away!

Well, I thought yesterday would be the worse but that's not the case. I gained another 5 lbs in the past 24 hours so over 9 lbs in 2 days. I hardly slept last night. It's getting really hard to breathe. I'm not sure if I have fluid in my lungs now because I'm starting to get a hacking cough. I had to sleep with pillows propped up behind my back so I wasn't laying completely flat. My doctor recommended being propped up. That was just uncomfortable. So, B is at work with the car right now but I am going to call the office when they open and may go in or go to the emergency room out here so we don't have to drive an hour to get drained. I really didn't want to but this appears to be getting worse and I'd like to be able to breathe smoothly again.

Follow up to OHSS

So, I ended up going to the doctor today for an ultrasound because I was just so uncomfortable. My ovaries are extremely large and just floating in fluid. If it gets worse, I can go in and get it drained. I would really like to do just fix it at home with lots of Powerade and foods high in sodium.

My nurse knows we tested at home but not my doctor. He kept saying, this is a great sign though because OHSS gets worse when pregnancy so even though you are uncomfortable, it's a great sign. He said it can go away on it's own and it depends on how long it stays around. If I continue to do the things they told me then hopefully it'll be better soon.

I couldn't help but laugh. My nurse is 6 1/2 months pregnant and our bellies are literally the same size. I said people are going to be confused when I go from huge from bloat to normal when bloat goes away back to big from an actually baby belly. Hopefully no one asks if I am pregnant because to say "oh 4 weeks" would be embarrassing.

So... let's hope and pray this thing fixes itself on it's own because I really don't want to get my ovaries drained although I know it won't hurt me or the baby.

OHSS...Oh how I hate you...

I gained 4 lbs since yesterday. They said to call if it's over 3 lbs so I have to wait until noon when they open today. I might have to go get my ovaries drained. I am SO insanely uncomfortable. I cannot sleep. I cannot move I feel like. My stomach is so tight I cannot stand up straight. I can only eat a few bites of food before feeling full. I know it's because my stomach is being crowded by my huge enlarged ovaries. I pray this goes away soon because I am absolutely miserable. I've read that with getting a BFP, it gets worse from the hcg. Hopefully this is the worst because I am so miserable. But every second is worth it to see a positive test.

On a very happy note, I have continued to take tests and the line continues to get darker so people, this might be the real deal. I've been taking pictures but I just have to upload them at some point.

6dt5dt

I am cautiously going to say that I took a test this morning and got two lines. I've never before in my life seen my own positive pregnancy test so I am beyond excited to see a positive test. I feel like we have to wait forever until my beta next Wednesday and am going to continue to test for my own peace of mind. For right now, I am pregnant and that is a huge step in the right direction because I have never gotten this far.

The past day has been very difficult physically. OHSS has gotten much worse and I definitely have a pop belly now. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. I keep getting hot flashes and nausea. My stomach has a very tight feeling and random cramps. I'm doing everything they told me to do so hopefully it gets a little better. I did read that if you get a positive pregnancy test, OHSS will most likely get worse before it gets better.

4dp5dt

Is there a fast forward button? I am going crazy here! I'd love if this week just flew by!

Today, I had to go to La Jolla for my progesterone blood draw. Everything looks good and I am staying on the same amount of progesterone.

I have to say, I really like the nurses there. I'm sure I've said it before but they are so funny and nice. I get along with them all so well. The nurse who told me not to cheat and test early asked me if I plan to cheat. I just smiled. I said I don't know yet but if I did, I am sure I wouldn't be the first. Another nurse chimed in, "and you would not be the last". They said just don't test too early. I told them I was thinking this weekend I would. She said, if it's positive, be cautiously excited. If it's negative, don't get crushed because we aren't out of the game until beta. I said, I am pretty optimistic, they gave us a great chance... over 80%. She just smiled and said, yes, they did. She said, speaking of, how do you feel about twins? I said I would love it. She said, and Brett? I said he would love it even more. So... we still haven't decided when but we are going to cheat and test early. We are going to the store tonight and will probably pick up some tests then. It'll be very hard to not do them when Brett is at work the next two days!

When I was telling Brett about my conversation with the nurses, he just smiled so big and said "I love you". I know he is trying to be neutral and not get his hopes up but I can tell that he is getting excited.

Speaking of excited.... my mother in-law is so excited. Her and I talked today for 3 hours. I told her we are cheating and testing early but didn't tell her when. She kept trying to trick me. I'm sort of known for not being good at holding secrets so she kept trying to be sly about it but not this time. I said I'd like to keep something a surprise and just be able to call them without them knowing what day to say they are going to be grandparents. She is very set on thinking it's Sunday the 12th since that is Grandparent's day.

Please little embryos... I hope you are snuggled in there nicely now and making your home for the next 9 months!

As far as symptoms, none. I feel great actually. Less bloated and even wearing blue jeans today (which haven't been fitting due to bloat). Brett keeps asking, well, do you feel pregnant? Unfortantely, nope but I'm not discouraged by that.

Frosties

Just got a call from the embryologist. The 7 they were keep an eye on, only 3 progressed but were considered poor quality. I am a little bummed but we do have the two good quality ones they froze yesterday.

I guess that means B and I's discussions back and forth for hours about embryo adoption, discarding or research weren't really too needed.

I am already bored on bed rest. I like to do things for myself and B doesn't know how to cook and gets flustered trying so it looks like fast food and take out is on the menu til tomorrow night or Tuesday.

Embryo Transfer done!

We got there at 9:30, right on time and had to wait about a half hour. They were running behind with the embryo transfer before ours. The embryologist called us back and discussed everything with us.

We have three they are discarding because they arrested. 2 blastocysts and 7 that they will watch to see about freezing them tomorrow.

We transferred two blastocysts... they are hatching blastocysts which she said is great and even ahead of schedule. They shouldn't have began hatching until the end of the day so she said they look great.

B and I went back to the room. I got in my gown, he got in his scrubs. We waited for a little while and they did an ultrasound to make sure my bladder was full enough. Yeah, that's not fun when you do have a full bladder!

The Dr. and embryologist came in. B got to look at the embryo's through a microscope. I'm so jealous. I would have loved to see them. And we got to watch on the screen as they inserted them into my uterus. We even got some pictures. It's hard to tell what they are but we know where they are and will cherish them.

We are both so very excited. Brett made smile so big today. He walked downstairs in his "Where ever you go, whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be with you". I said is that your lucky charm? He said oh stop making fun of me but I know he wore it on purpose.

I am home now, laying on the couch. B went to go pick us up lunch. So now, we wait....progesterone draw is next Wednesday and pregnancy test is on the 15th at 7:40am.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

I'll love ya tomorrow... it's only a day away!!

I am beyond excited to have our embryos transferred tomorrow. I told myself I wasn't going to call yesterday to get a report but, if you know me, you know I don't have patience so, I called. The lady is so nice and explains everything so well.

Out of our 14 embryos, 13 are good and 1 is fair. She said most likely only 60% of them will become blastocysts.

I've been feeling like crap all week so really haven't done anything productive so today I am going to spend the day catching up. I just scrubbed the kitchen (B better keep it clean when he is doing the cooking for the next couple days!). I'm going to vacuum the entire house, top to bottom and finish up all the laundry. I love having a clean house so not being able to clean for a little bit will be hard, definitely with Sierra (our dog). She sheds like crazy and half of downstairs is hardwood floors, half is carpet so clumps of hair pile up in the corners of the hardwood floors if I don't vacuum or swifer every day. Brett is working on the car all weekend putting a new camshaft on and will have a friend here so I doubt he will want to vacuum or swifer. We always joke because he asks why I am cleaning... he doesn't consider it dirty ever. He said he has never seen our house dirty. But, I don't really take his opinion to heart. Here's a little story as to why:

When we got married, we lived downstairs at his parents. His room was always so dirty. He didn't put clothes in the dresser. They were like piles of clothes everywhere so one day, I spent the entire day cleaning the room. We got rid of bags of clothes, organized things. Well, I was cleaning behind a little wood stove that is down there and I found.... the skeleton to a mouse! Brett and his mom were upstairs and I screamed bloody murder. I picked it up with a paper towel and brought it upstairs. He laughed so hard. Thought it was hysterical. Lord knows how long it had been back there. So nasty!!

Anyways, I'll update tomorrow after our embryo transfer.

I am blessed

Sitting around being a bum since Monday has allowed me to do a lot of thinking and I've been thinking, I am so blessed. I love my life and I love the people in my life.

B has been so great the past couple days. He is so excited. I am a little scared that if this doesn't work, he is going to take it horribly. But, I refuse to think it's not going to work. I am focused on that this will work and this will be it for us. If you know Brett, you know how much our SS and his motorcycle mean to him. I call them his babies. Well, he has been talking about selling his motorcycle. At first, I thought he was just saying that but wouldn't go through with it. Today he tells me, a Sgt at his work is interested in it. He says that it's too dangerous and not worth it. He already has a risky job and if he can avoid the added risk, he will. I told him that whatever he decides, I support. The guys think I am making him but he keeps saying it's his decision and I never said a word about it. It makes me so happy to see him thinking in that way because I love how much he loves his bike and how much he loves riding. He is going to be such a great daddy some day... (and hopefully that day is in May 2011).

Our families all know about our journey and are involved each step of the way. To hear the excitement in our families voices when we have good news, makes me realized how loved we are. For goodness sake, my mother already went and bought some baby stuff. This will be the first grandchild for Brett's parents and talking to Brett's mom, every time we talk about getting pregnant I can just hear that she has a smile on her face. I'm not sure what I would do without our families. They've helped us so much each step of the way and I know will continue to be there for us, whether the outcome is good or bad.

Fert. Report

Got a call today from the Dr. office.

27 eggs retrieved

18 mature

14 fertilized with ICSI.

Right now, we are scheduled for a 5dt on Saturday at 11:30. I am hopeful. I think things are going good and we will know more on Saturday. I could call Thursday for an update but decided I don't want to over analyze every thing so I will wait until Saturday.

We are very excited. Brett's response to this was "wahooo!" He kept texting me all day "did you get the numbers yet?" "how are our babies doing?" He is so excited. I just love it!

Back from Egg Retrieval

What a day! I had to go with B to work this morning so he didn't have to drive an hour to work, an hour home then an hour and a half to the doctor. He had to be there at 6:45 so we left the house at 5:45. Way too early for this girl! I sat in the car for about 3 hours, during which time I went back to sleep. I was on the phone with my sister when B's Sgt walked up the car and asked when our appointment was. I told him 10:45. He said, and he just left you sitting here in the car? That's not okay. I told him I didn't mind and it was my idea. About 5 minutes later, B walked out of the office and said his Sgt told him to go for the day and take me out to breakfast before our appointment. I wish but... no food or drinks after midnight last night. So, we just went to the doctors office early.

The nurses that do the ER are different then my every day nurses but they were still very nice. Bri, our main nurse, kept saying how young I am. I got asked a couple times, are you doing this for you or....(meaning for us or an egg donor)? They let me pick the type of music for the room and were going to hook up my Iphone but it wasn't working with the stereo so we got some country music. I was out of it most of the time but I remember after I woke up, someone said something about 18 eggs on one side. Later, my nurse asked if I had heard how many they retrieved. I said well I think I was told 18 from one side but I don't remember. She said oh no, maybe 18 in total. Sure enough, I was right. 18 from one ovary. 9 from the other. I know the 18 is from my right ovary because I could seriously feel that side the most. So, 27 eggs. 17 mature eggs. We will find out more tomorrow.

The doctors, nurses and embryologist all said that's the highest number of eggs they've retrieved in their office. I'm setting all sorts of records today. The youngest patient (who isn't doing egg donation) and the most eggs! Dr. A said he thinks our chances are "very good". So, we will wait and see. Our goal is a 5dt but will know more tomorrow.

So exciting!!

For the most part, I feel okay. I get some random sharp pains in my stomach but I am sure with time it'll go away. They are very concerned with me getting Ovarian Hyper-stimulation so I am on a strict diet for the next couple weeks. No sugars. All whole wheats. Not a lot of water but rather powerade zero (that has no sugar) and diet juices.

Tomorrow for start the PIO shots... i am dreading that but it's getting us one step closer to our children and that is worth it.

Egg Retrieval Set!!

Well, I prayed and prayed that our ER would be Monday because I am very uncomfortable. B went with me to my appointment today and Dr. A said as soon as he started the ultrasound that he could tell my follicles were noticeably bigger from yesterday. So he started measuring and on the left side, a bunch of them were 18mm and on the right side, they are 16mm. So, that means egg retrieval Monday! My nurse called at 2pm to tell me what time to do the trigger shot tonight (midnight) and if you know me, you know I am not a night person. I will have to set a bunch of alarms to wake me up. I know 25 years old and cannot stay up til midnight on a Saturday night. I am one cool girl!

B was a little too happy when the nurse was telling him how to do my shot. It makes him a little excited to stick me with a needle. He had a huge smile on his face. The nurse said, you better be nice to him today so he gives you the shot nicely.

It will be very nice to not have to drive down to La Jolla tomorrow and just enjoy our day together. I am excited, nervous and ready to get it over with!

2nd Follie check

Well, things went a little better today and I don't feel so down about everything now. I have 2 follicles measuring 15mm and "a ton" measuring 13mm. He is most likely going to lower my dosage a little today. He can't go too much lower because I am already taking very minimal amounts. My lining is 8.3mm I believe.

He asked how I was feeling and I said well, I can definitely feel my ovaries when I move in any way. He said that's normal and to be prepared for it to get worse as they get bigger. My nurse thinks I will trigger on Sunday night and do the ER on Tuesday. I have an ultrasound and blood draw scheduled for both tomorrow and Sunday.

All in all, things are going okay. Like I told Dr. A I can feel my ovaries when I move, turn over in bed...pretty much anything. Other then that and being extremely bloated, things are going good and this is all for a great cause!

Day 6 of Stims

Today is Day 6 of my stims and I had my first follie check. I was really stressed out and nervous leaving the appointment. Dr A. is usually upbeat and says everything looks great. This time he said everything looks okay but he is worried about OHSS. So, that freaked me out. I have 20 follicles in each ovary. They are all about equal in size. Left is 12mm and Right is 10mm. My lining is 5.5 which to me, doesn't sound like it's good, still very thin. Totally stresses me out. But I talk to my IVF coordinator tonight and my E2 level is 749 so she said it's good and my meds are staying the same. My next ultrasound is Friday and hopefully by then, something has changed.

So far, So good.

I remind myself daily that this is for a good cause because I absolutely do not like needles and hate doing the injections. But, it'll be worth it when we have a beautiful baby to hold.

The shots are going good. Today is day 4 of stims. So far, my dosage has stayed the same. (10 units of Lupron, 1 vial of Menopur, 75 units of Follistim). I went in yesterday and today for blood draw. I haven't gotten my phone call yet today for my dosage for the day. I go in tomorrow for another blood draw and then Wednesday I start getting ultrasounds. I pray everything looks great and I don't get overstimulated. I think that is one of my biggest fears but Dr. A has reassured me they are going to watch me very closely (because I am young and produce a lot of follicles on my own.) So, I suppose I just have to have faith that he knows what he is doing. Obviously he does or he/the clinic wouldn't have such high success rates, which is why we chose them in the first place.

I haven't had a ton of side effects but the ones I do have, are a pain... literally. Headaches, cramping, and I feel a little like I have a ton of bricks around my waist. But again, this is all for a good cause!

The worst part of this all... the drive to La Jolla. I'll be happy when this week is over and I don't have to drive there daily because California drivers suck. Traffic hasn't been horrible but hasn't been good either. I leave the house super early because I never know how traffic will be but always end up getting there early. But my biggest pet peeve, California drivers don't believe in safety gaps while driving. HELLO people, I am leaving that space between me and the car in front of me on purpose and it's not so you can cut in front of me. I guess driving in Alaska you are so use to having a safety gap because in the winters, you don't want to slide into the people in front of you. People down here drive right on your bumper. Don't they realize that traffic comes to sudden stops all the time so you aren't giving yourself room to actually stop? Okay... vent over!

Edit: Nurse called right after I wrote this and changed my Follistim dosage to 50 units, instead of 75. She said my numbers look great and we will know more on Wednesday what the size of the follicles are and how many more days of stims I'll need.

Onward and Upward we go!

Today was my suppression appointment to make sure Lupron is doing it's job, make sure I have no cysts and they taught me how to do the next two shots. Everything looks great. He said everything looks the way it should and counted all the follicles and said it's a great number. My bloodwork came back good so tomorrow I start Menopur and Follistim. I will continue with 10 units of Lupron between 7-9 am and add 1 vial of Menopur with it every morning. I will do 75 units of Follistim at 7-9pm.

My IVF Coordinator was off today so I met with another lady and she really helped me out. She taught me all the shots and how to mix the Menopur. I told her my fear of doing something wrong and messing everything up. She told me not to worry and that I can't mess it up. She said that is why they check my blood every day. If I missed a dosage or did something wrong, they would be able to correct it.

She also said she doesn't think I will need to do the full 10 days of stims. She thinks it'll be more like 8 days which would make our egg retrieval on the 29th. She said at the end, I most likely won't be using very much Menopur and Follistim because it's not going to take much to get me where I need to be.

I got all my medication from the pharmacy. I was a little overwhelmed but I took the advice of someone off the bump and bought some tubberware. I seperated it from the medicine I need

now and what I'll use later. It made it a little easier.

When I updated Brett about my appointment, he kept saying how excited he is. I am excited but I have to remind myself that there is a possibility it won't work.

Next appointment is Sunday at 9:30 for bloodwork.

I am sure I am just over emotional because there is a lot going on right now plus I am sure the meds don't help but this afternoon, I've been having one big ol' meltdown. I miss my family. I wish my family was close by while going through this. We are a very close family and I am especially close with my oldest sister and her daughters. We talk every day and she is always there to listen to what is going on with me. I am very happy to say that she is moving to Arizona in October so only a 5 hour drive away but still, not the same.

When Brett was deployed and I was living back home, I was with them almost every single day. I even watched my nieces for 11 days when Kristy and her husband went to Hawaii. I grew so close to them. So, to look at pictures, watch them on skype or talk to them on the phone makes me realize that I am missing so much. Tatum (my two year old niece) is growing so much and starting to talk a ton. She even will talk to me on the phone now. She doesn't say much and what she does say, I don't always understand but she says HI a lot and of course, Uncle Brett. She tells knock knock jokes and thinks she is hilarious. She says "knock knock". I say "whose there?" she says "banana apple" and starts laughing really hard. Mackenzie is getting so big. She is about to be stinkin' 5 years old. Where the heck did time go? I feel like she was just born!

The more and more I see my nieces and nephew, the more I cannot wait until we have children of our own. I can't imagine how much I am going to love them because I love my nieces and nephew more then anything so my own children... ugh! I can't wait! I can't wait to have our children to watch grown and learn new things. I am going to cherish every single moment. I am excited to see Brett as a dad. He was so cute yesterday. He said how happy he is that I will be pregnant soon (we talk like it's for sure going to happen because I have to be positive and think this will be it for us because we can't go through an IVF. We can't afford to). He was saying how he can't wait to cuddle and play with a baby but once that diaper gets all squishy, he'll hand them over to me. I said no way, it doesn't work that way! I know he is kidding although I am very interested in seeing him change a diaper. He has never changed a diaper before but know he will help out.

Today we were talking about the Marine Corps ball in November. He should be picking up rank on October 1st and is pretty happy about that. He can't wait to look sharp in those dress blues and I said, well I might not look so hot. If this works, I'd be around 12 weeks pregnant. I don't know how much you show at 12 weeks or if you show at all but I promised him I'd get all dolled up, hair, make up and everything to look as good as he does in his blues.

Also in November, I am planning on making a trip to Arizona. I think I'll get a one way ticket and go the week before Thanksgiving for Miss. Mackenzie's 5th birthday party then Brett can drive over the week of Thanksgiving with Sierra (our dog) then we can drive back together after Thanksgiving and Hildon's (my sister Jeannie's son) gotcha-day the day after thanksgiving. For those of you who do not know, Hildon is adopted and a gotcha day is the day that the adoption was finalized. His real gotcha day is Thanksgiving this year but she is most likely celebrating the day after. Hopefully my sister Amanda and her husband will travel to Arizona for Thanksgiving so we can have the entire family together. It's hard with everyone married. We haven't hard every single person together for a long time. In fact, I want to say it was the year we got married when Jeannie and Matt traveled to Alaska with Matt's parents and Aubree. Tatum wasn't around yet so I guess that doesn't count. One person is usually missing. Everyone was together last Christmas minus Brett. So, we are in need of an entire family get together.

Okay well I'm blabbing now... I suppose that is all.

CD1 - Let's get this party started!

Today is CD 1. Tomorrow I go in for an ultrasound and bloodwork to see if I am ready to start stims. I am hoping and praying everything will look good so we can move forward. If everything looks good, I get all my meds tomorrow and start Follistim and Menopur on the 20th (Friday).

And man, oh man do I have side effects! I have a raging headache. It's non-stop. Usually when I have a headache, I can take a nap or go to bed for the night and when I wake up, the headache is done. Nope, not these headaches. Literally I go to bed with a pounding headache. I wake up at 1 am to go to the bathroom and still have the headache. Wake up in the morning, yup, still there! It's horrible. I'm bloated. I've been having serious hot flashes and it doesn't help that it's over a 100 degree outside but... I am keeping my eyes on the prize! Every single second will be worth it when we have a beautiful baby here.

Day 2 of Lupron

I couldn't sleep last night for the life of me. Brett went to bed at 6pm because he has been waking up at 2 am for the range. I went to bed at 10 and just laid there. I finally fell asleep and at 1am, I woke up and just laid there. I was sleeping so peacefully after that when Brett decided to wake me up at 3am when he was leaving for work to ask if he was taking the car or the motorcycle today.

Anyways, I woke up at 7:30 and did my first Lupron shot by myself. It was so easy that I thought I must have done it wrong but I followed the instructions and what the nurse told me to do. Now, if all the shots were that easy, it'd be nice. But I will say that it did hurt a little more then when the nurse did it yesterday. Still wasn't bad though.

I know side effects come with it but I never thought I'd feel any this early on. I have the most horrible headache ever today.

Oh the joys of IF!

One shot done...a ton more to go!

Today's appointment went good. No cysts so forward we go. The nurse did my first Lupron shot and I have to say, it didn't hurt at all. I think I scared myself so much that I was so nervous for nothing! She said that Menopur will sting a little and I asked her about PIO and she said, we will cross that bridge when we get there. Focus on one thing at a time. I said you are saying that because you know it'll hurt huh? She just laughed.

I have to say, the drive wasn't bad at all. It's about 56 miles but usually takes us an hour and a half. Today, there was no traffic and only took me 45 minutes. Hopefully it'll be like that from here on out! A girl could wish right? But California traffic is way too unpredictable.

So I take my last birth control pill on Saturday the 14th and wait for my period. When I get my period, we move forward with stims.

It's all starting to feel real and I am getting excited.

Praise the Lord, it's August!

Our month has finally arrived (okay... I'm 9 days late, I know!) I am so excited to get this show on the road. I have an appointment tomorrow and I start Lupron, my first shot. I am a little nervous and overwhelmed but one day at a time, we will get through this. And, the end result is going to be worth every needle, every pills, every blood draw.

Brett's 27th birthday was on Saturday. It's hard to believe he is 27. I know, we are not old by any means but I feel like it was yesterday we were in our teens, flirting and being silly with each other. Now we are married and on our journey to start our family. I love who we have both become and I am so excited for our next chapter.

We went to see "the Other Guys" for his birthday. We both thought it was hilarious. I rarely laugh out loud during movies, usually I just smile if I think it's funny but I was truly laughing out loud. Then we went to Red Lobster for dinner. It was so delicious, even though we had just had seafood the night before with my cousin and her family in San Diego. I was going to have them sing happy birthday to Brett at Red Lobster but I figured he had enough that day. He got some money to go toward car parts he wants for the SS so that made him happy. We even got to skype with my nieces for a little bit. I really wanted Tatum (my two year old niece) to sing "Happy to you Uncle Brett" but the child does not act on demand! It truly is the cutest thing ever. Mackenzie (my 4 year old niece) did sing him happy birthday though so that made Brett happy.

Brett is on the range this week so we have to figure out the car situation for my appointment tomorrow. He usually drives his motorcycle but has to bring his flak and kevlar all week so, I'm not sure what the plan is for tomorrow.

We have a busy couple weeks ahead of us but we are both really excited.

Post-Op

I had my post-op from my hysteroscopy today. I have to say my biggest pet peeve about doctors offices is waiting forever for them to actually see you and you only see them for like 3 minutes. But, he said everything went good. There was one little area that was a tiny polyp so he took care of that but other then that, everything looked perfect.

He is such a nice doctor. He said after everything we've been through, he hopes this works for us and he has a good feeling it will be it. He looks forward to seeing me back in the office in a couple months for my first pregnant ob-gyn appointment. He also had a warning for Brett "the hormones from IVF will make you crazy. Make sure you tell your husband that and to be patient with you." I have told Brett that but he says when I wake up every morning, look at myself in the mirror and say "I will not be a crazy hormonal lady today". lol! I love my husband. He is such a dork.

Brett is in the field this week. He is on the range for the next two weeks after that and he *may* have to go to the field in August. I have to try and get a note from my doctors office stating when all our procedures will be so he can stay at the motorpool and work there. We'll see. I truly only need him for the egg retrieval day but would need someone to take me to and from embryo transfer and I'd like someone to be around when I'm on bed rest but I am sure my mom could come down if I needed her to. He may also have to be gone the whole month of October to Mojave Viper but we'll see. They don't really like to inform the guys ahead of time.

So, next step...Doctors appointment on August 10th and my first shot! I am a little nervous but so excited to move forward. I remind myself that in a little over a month, I WILL be pregnant!

Surgery done....next step, Lupron.

I had my hysterscopy yesterday. They did a surgical hysterscopy because of seeing polyps during my sonohysterogram. So we went in at 10:30 and filled out paperwork. I went back and put on that sexy gown then just laid around and waited. Brett came back at like 11 then at 11:30 I got wheeled back to the surgery room. I got anesthesia right away so obviously don't remember a thing. I woke up in the recovery room and I remember the Dr. mentioning not finding any polyps. I was half out of it though so a little while later I asked the nurse if I remembered it correctly. She said yes, they stood there and looked at the screen and didn't see anything. So, pretty much I went through all of that for no reason and we could have done IVF a couple months ago but, everything happens for a reason.

At like 1:30, I was able to come home. Brett made my lunch then I took a long nap. I kept feeling dizzy when I stood up and had cramps. But, we went to bed early and Brett took great care of me. I woke up this morning with some bad cramps... just feels like bad menstrual cramps.

I have a post-op Thursday then on the 10th of August I go in for my first appointment for IVF and start my first injection. Yay for moving forward!

Bucket List

My sister's recently made bucket lists so I thought I would be a follower and do the same thing. So here it goes:

1. Fulfill our dream of having four children.

2. Own our house home with a nice backyard and maybe even a pool.

3. Go on a girls trip with my mom and sisters (and nieces).

4. Getting a matching tattoo with Brett (no, not our names or anything... just a something to symbolize our love)

5. Go on a cruise with Brett

6. Run another half marathon.

7. Reach my goal weight.

8. Visit Australia

9. Learn to play the piano

10. Learn to be a truly good cook.

11. Learn to surf

12. Go to New York City.

13. Go around L.A. or Hollywood until I meet someone famous.

14. Ride in a hot air balloon.

15. Visit all 50 states.

16. Volunteer at a women's shelter.

17. Be a stay at home mom.

18. Start learning American Sign Language again

19. Go the shooting range and learn to shoot

20. Learn to play poker

21. Ride on a sail boat in the ocean (not like grandpa's sail boat on Kenai Lake :)

22. Go tent camping.

23. Spend the rest of my life with my husband.

24. Go to an NHL game because I know Brett would love it.

25. Make scrapbooks for above mentioned children.

26. Learn to ride a motorcycle and maybe even get my license someday.

27. Scuba dive

28. Have fruit trees in our above mentioned dream backyard

29. Also have a garden in the above mentioned dream backyard

30. Go to Washington D.C. and visit all the museums and monuments.

31. Go to Maui with Brett.

32. Have a huge slumber party with my nieces where we can camp out on the living room floor, watch movies, eat junk food and just have fun together.

33. Take a chunk of money and donate it to women who don't have medical coverage but cannot conceive children on their own.

34. Volunteer on my future children's school and be an active member of the PTA.

35. Learn to paint a picture that is nice enough to hang in my house

36. Work in the nursery or with the children at church.

37. Visit Hoonah in the summer time and go fishing (and actually catch something)

38. Go to Eagle, Alaska and show Brett where I use to spend a lot of my time growing up.

39. Learn to snowboard

40. Take our future children to Alaska for the summer to explore, go to the cabin and see where we grew up.

41. Learn to wakeboard

42. Take dancing lessons with Brett

43. Ride a mechanical bull

44. Go white water rafting

45. Visit the Grand Canyon

46. Tour France

47. Be able to save enough money for our children to go to college with no worry financially.

48. Visit Sam in San Fran and see the Golden Gate Bridge

49. Go to Pike's Market in Seattle

50. Go to Hong Kong with Brett since I didn't take the opportunity while we were dating.

51. Go on a vacation to the Caribbean .

52. Learn to play pool

53. Rent a cottage on the beach for the week.

54. Learn to sew and eventually learn to sew things that are useful.

55. Make a picture quilt for each of my children.

56. Do volunteer work with wounded vets.

57. Go to the Ellen Degeneras show during her 12 days of Christmas giveaway

58. Make a difference in at least one person's life.

59. Join the big brother, big sister program.

60. Spend the weekend at a 5 star spa and get VIP treatment

61. Sleep in a castle

62. Go on the honeymoon Brett and I never had.

63. Move close enough to family that our children can be raised around their cousins.

64. Swim with dolphins

65. Have a lake house.

66. Remodel a home to make it exactly what we want.

67. Have a peony bush in our yard

68. Go to Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

69. Go to Time Square for New Year's.

70. Ride on the back of an elephant.

71. Go on a long road trip with Brett with no destination in mind... just to explore

72. Learn spanish

73. Give a heartfelt surprise to someone I love.

74. See the Northern Lights.

75. Host Christmas dinner at my house.

76. Learn to make an amazing Thanksgiving dinner.

77. Buy a motor home and take our children on summer vacations to various parts of the United States.

78. Visit the Redwood Forrest.

79. Fly a kite at the beach.

80. Go on a picnic

81. Ride in a helicopter

82. Become debt free.

83. Go to Pink's all out with Brett.

84. Do a trash my dress session at the beach.

85. Learn to fold fitted sheets, perfect. Now, I roll it in a ball because it never folds right.

That's it for now. I'll add more later...

Just getting thoughts out.

Just wanted to get my feelings down, not much of an update. I have surgery on Thursday, pre-op on Monday. I have to get an appointment letter from my doctor stating I am having surgery otherwise they won't let Brett off to take me Thursday. A little ridiculous but such as life in the Marine Corps.

We are both getting pretty excited. I used an IVF due date calculator (you calculator it different then if it were a normal cycle) and if we do everything has planned, I'd be due at the end of May. May seems like a good month to me. My birthday, Mother's Day and our anniversary are all in the May.

Brett made me smile earlier this week (well, more then once but one thing in particular made me smile). He is part of a forum for Trailblazer SS's where they talk about their SS's and everyday life stuff. So he told me he started a forum about IVF and other guys responded they had done it or were in the process of doing it. I'm not sure why but it just thought it was cute that he was sharing things with them. I think it's a good outlet for him to talk about it. I know all the guys at his work know about it and it shows me he is excited. He said, well you post on a forum about it, what is so different for me to post on a forum about it? I just love that guy. I know he is going to be the type who is so excited, he brings every ultrasound picture and gives every update to his co-workers. That's why I love him so much. He has such a passion to be a dad and I know he is going to be an awesome dad.

I've started getting things ready somewhat. Well, as ready as you can get things. They said you have to wear warm socks to embryo transfer and if you know me, you know I hate socks. I rarely, rarely ever wear socks. In fact, when I was living back home during Brett's deployment, my mom bought me socks because I kept taking her's when I would go to the gym because I didn't pack a single pair of socks to move up there. Anyways, I bought a pair of really warm, cozy socks. They are actually the same type of socks my mother in law wears all the time and I know she loves them. I also bought myself a pair of loose sweat pants. We have to go out and buy a heating pad this week for my surgery because I guess you get bad cramps following the surgery. Also they said it's good to use before doing the progesterone in oil shot in your rear (like your butt cheek). Aww, the joys of IVF!

I pray every day that this works. We are freezing embryos so we can do a frozen embryo cycle but it wouldn't happen anytime soon because of finances. They've told us they give us a 79% chance. He said we are ideal candidates. But I know other women have heard that and had to do multiple cycles. I am confident in our clinic and their abilities. They have great success rates and are very thorough. We never thought we would have to go this far to have a baby. Both of us have always dreamed of having a family and thought it'd just happen. That wasn't the case but we are glad we found this clinic because they've made us feel like family and are very supportive. It's like they are rooting for you too, not just doing their job.

Calendar!

We got our calendar today from our IVF coordinator. To say the least, I am very excited. It's nice to have dates written down, even if it's tentatively. I am so ready to start this and be pregnant!! We are just so ready to move forward and have our family. Lately, Brett has been talking about "our kids". I keep saying, what kids? Our imaginary kids? He said our soon in the future kids. I know he is so excited and if you know Brett, he doesn't show his excitement.

I attempted to copy my calendar onto here but it didn't work out so well so here is a rough idea:

8/10 - Start Lupron (7-9am)

8/14 - Last day of Birth Control

8/19- SE2 Appointment (ultrasound, blood draw, and medication teaching)

8/20 - If all looks well with labs, start Menopur (7-9am) and Follistim (7-9pm)

8/22 - 8/24 - Appointments for E2

8/25- 8/29 - Appointments for E2 and Ultrasounds

8/29 - Tentative HCG

8/31 - Tentative Retreival

9/1 - Start Progerstrone and Estrace, Medrol and Doxcycline.

9/3 - Tentative 3 day transfer (and 48 hours of bedrest)

9/5 - Tentative 5 day transfer (and 48 hours of bedrst). Our goal is to make it to day 5 transfer.

9/9 - Appointment for D9P4

9/16 - Pregnancy Test (now, I am going to consider this a sign. 9/16 is my mother in-law's birthday and to call and tell her I am pregnant would be the best present.)

So, that's about it in a nutshell. The next 2 months are going to be a little crazy for us with my surgery, Brett is going to the field and IVF but we know the outcome will be great.

Surgery finally scheduled!

After a month of waiting to hear back from the surgery coordinator, I finally was able to schedule my surgery today. It's July 22nd at 11:30 am. I have pre-op on the 19th and post-op on the 29th. Hopefully this means I will start my meds the second week of August. I emailed my IVF coordinator so I am waiting to hear back as to when we will get to move forward. This whole waiting thing is driving me crazy...even though it's such a short amount of time compared to the 3 years we have been trying to get pregnant.

In other news, we had such a great 4th of July! We went to a car show with fireworks and a parade. A kind gentleman gave us tickets to a suite with free food and drinks and an amazing view of the fireworks show. Plus, it was air conditioned! We had so much fun and it was so nice to see how much the people around us support their troops. I was amazed during the opening ceremony when the Mayor of Fontana came out and said a prayer for our troops! I mean, we are in California...I didn't know they prayed at events. It really touched my heart until it was ruined when 2 14 year old girls in our suite talked the entire prayer. I told Brett it made me so sad to see these girls lack of respect. It makes me happy to know that I was raised to respect God and prayer to know that you do not talk during prayer. Brett got upset when they asked for a moment of silence during the passing of the colors (flags) and the ladies in our suite kept talking. Maybe it's just us, but we take that stuff seriously. But all in the all, it was a great day!

Brett is part of a paintball team for his battalion that is in a tournament right now. He is very proud that they are in first place and completely kickin' butt. He has some more games this weekend and if they win, they get money for the Marine Corps ball in November. Which will be our first ball and I am VERY excited to get all dolled up!

So Thankful!

IVF is an expensive procedure and our insurance covers nothing. The meds alone are over $4,000. Well, I am so thankful and blessed that someone donated one of the meds to me. It is a huge blessing and a little bit of a weight off our shoulders.

We still don't have a date to move forward. The surgery coordinator from my gyn called today but I missed her call when I was in the shower and when I called back, I had to leave a message and never got a returned call so hopefully I will hear from her on Monday. I hope we can move forward quickly.

Brett has a long weekend this weekend so we went to see Grown Up's (very funny). Tomorrow night we are going out to dinner with another couple from our church. It's nice to meet other couples that aren't in the military.

That's about it for right now. Hopefully I'll have something better to update next week. As soon as I schedule my surgery, we can make up a calendar for IVF.

Moving forward

After over three years of trying to conceive on our own and two failed IUI's, we are moving forward with IVF. Right now, we are on hold because I have polyps on my uterus that I have to have removed but as soon as that is done, we should be able to move forward. We are both excited and optimistic that this will be it for us, that this will work. Our Dr. has given us a 79% success rate... which is really rare to have such a high number.

More then anything, we want a family. We want kids of our own and it's exciting that it feels like it is at arm's reach and someday in our near future, we will have our dream.

IVF is a emotionally and physically draining process but as Brett has told me many times, "the finishing product is something we will have and cherish for the rest of our lives". So, we keep our eyes on the prize and move forward...

I should be having hysteroscopy in the next couple weeks and hopefully IVF in July.