6w,3d

And two perfect heartbeats! Today really could not be any better of a day! I had some cramping last night which totally freaked me out but my RE reassured me that it's just my body making room for TWO perfect babies.

He said everything looks perfect. One baby is measuring 6weeks, the other is measuring 6 weeks and 1 day. We got to see and hear their heartbeats and my heart just completely melted. I could not be any happier. Brett insists that because one heartbeat was slower then the other, the one is a boy and the other is a girl. The Dr. said oh no, I say two girls! (but of course none of us really know!)

So here are our beautiful little babies...they've already grown so much from last week. Our next appointment is the 18th and I cannot wait to see how much bigger they get by then!

TWINS!

Today was our first ultrasound. I was really nervous going into it and am still a little nervous but the Dr. said everything looks great and right where it's suppose to be. And we indeed have two sacs and two yolks.

We go in next Thursday for another ultrasound and to hear the heartbeat. He said after we hear the heartbeat, we have a less then 5% of miscarriage. So, I will feel a lot better after next week. We go in again on the 18th after Brett gets home from the field and we will graduate from our RE at that point.

So exciting!! And of course, Brett insists it's two boys because he can just tell since they are 2mm.. lol, like he has something to compare it to.

Well Hello Morning Sickness!

I spoke too soon. I felt fine yesterday morning, ate a bowl of cereal which I never eat cereal and within an hour, I was throwing up. It last for about 4 hours that I just felt horrible. It ended up going away later in the afternoon after I snacked on saltine crackers all day. But I will say, I've never been so happy to throw up. I'm pregnant and every second of sickness or being uncomfortable will be completely worth it come May.

My first ultrasound is tomorrow at 5weeks and 4 days. I kn

ow we won't be able to see much but we'll be able to see how many sac's are in there. Brett SWEARS it's two but we'll see tomorrow. I'm a little nervous. I just want everything to be okay.

Because I am completely confident in myself and back to my normal self, I thought I would post my first couple weeks worth of photos which you can clearly see the OHSS and bloat.

This is week 1 (starting week of stims)

This is Embryo Transfer Day

This is OHSS at it's worst (or close to... a couple days later is when I get my abdomen drained) which is around 4 weeks

This is 5 weeks (and back into my regular jeans...and I've lost another 5 lbs since this picture)

I feel back to normal for the most part. My regular jeans fit me and I am only like 2 lbs away from my normal weight which I am completely okay with. It's crazy to see how bloated and rock hard my stomach was at my worst OHSS but I figure that's how I will look again in couple months!

5 weeks today and finally feel normal!

After over a week of being extremely bloated, I am starting to feel normal again. I've lost about 5lbs in the past 3 days and I know it's all of fluid. My stomach is a lot less bloated looking but still bloated. Most of my clothes still don't fit but I suppose I should get use to that.

I've realized that I am getting really antsy about our ultrasound. I keep wondering to myself "what if there is no baby there?" I know I am worrying over nothing. I haven't had any major cramping or no spotting or bleeding but I don't feel like I have a ton of symptoms otherwise. My sister continues to remind me that it is still very early. Some women don't even know they are pregnant this early. She said her symptoms didn't kick in until 6 weeks. I almost feel like I'd feel most comforted if I did have morning sickness or something.

Our ultrasound is schedule for next Monday. I am working on moving it to Friday since B has Friday off and he has already taken so many days off for IVF. I'll be 5 weeks and 4 days on Friday so I don't know if that is too early for their standards. Next Monday I'll be 6 weeks so I know every day makes a difference. We'll see what they say.

On a little bit sadder but good note, B sold his motorcycle. He had been talking about selling it and getting a cheap commuter car which will be safer. Well, the little extra push to sell (besides me being pregnant) was the transmission on our SS is going out and we need to replace it. So, we should get everything taken care of this week. One of his buddies from work is planning on buying it. His wife is also pregnant... 6 months I think but doesn't have the same thinking of B I suppose.

Beta #2

Well, I am definitely pregnant. My beta today was 527 so it more then doubled since Monday. The nurses at the office have bets going on that they think it's twins but we will see on the 27th at our first ultrasound. So, I go in the 27th for our first ultrasound which will be at 6 weeks. I will go in again on the 4th for our second ultrasound. Brett will be in the field for that one so that's a bummer but we will have one again on the 18th and that is the one where they do a little graduation and make a deal about everything so I'd rather him at that one.

Brett is so excited but keeps saying, can they just be here already? They as in "his twin boys" that he swears I am growing. I know he will be happy regardless though.

I am planning a trip back to Alaska while Brett is in the field and I am SO excited to see my family. I've been really homesick lately so it'll be nice to spend 10 days with my nieces, sisters and parents.

Beta #1 in

I got my blood draw done two days earlier then scheduled because I was at the office getting an ultrasound. So, the great news as my nurse would say is " I am very pregnant". Yesterday 9dp5dt and my beta was 231. Usually at 11dp5dt they are looking for a number around 100 so I am two days early and over double the number they are looking for. Her theory: multiples but we will see next week at our first ultrasound. I go in tomorrow for another blood draw to make sure it's doubled.

On the down side, I ended up getting my stomach drained and getting a chest x-ray. I don't know if the doctors did something wrong but it hurt to get my stomach drained. I could feel them moving around in my stomach when they put the small tube in. I kept tensing up and started sweating. It was short but no fun.

There was another lady getting the same procedure done while I was there. This is her second time getting drained from IVF in the past two weeks. She is also pregnant. I hope that was it for me and this will all go away. I did feel better after I had it done. My stomach felt a lot less tight but it's still sensitive. I know a lot of that is from the enormous ovaries I have right now. I am still having a little difficulty breathing but it may just be that I am getting a chest cold or something. They did an x-ray but I never heard the results so the nurse told me she would find out and get back with me.

So, right now... I am pregnant. 4 weeks and 1 day.

OHSS...please go away!

Well, I thought yesterday would be the worse but that's not the case. I gained another 5 lbs in the past 24 hours so over 9 lbs in 2 days. I hardly slept last night. It's getting really hard to breathe. I'm not sure if I have fluid in my lungs now because I'm starting to get a hacking cough. I had to sleep with pillows propped up behind my back so I wasn't laying completely flat. My doctor recommended being propped up. That was just uncomfortable. So, B is at work with the car right now but I am going to call the office when they open and may go in or go to the emergency room out here so we don't have to drive an hour to get drained. I really didn't want to but this appears to be getting worse and I'd like to be able to breathe smoothly again.

Follow up to OHSS

So, I ended up going to the doctor today for an ultrasound because I was just so uncomfortable. My ovaries are extremely large and just floating in fluid. If it gets worse, I can go in and get it drained. I would really like to do just fix it at home with lots of Powerade and foods high in sodium.

My nurse knows we tested at home but not my doctor. He kept saying, this is a great sign though because OHSS gets worse when pregnancy so even though you are uncomfortable, it's a great sign. He said it can go away on it's own and it depends on how long it stays around. If I continue to do the things they told me then hopefully it'll be better soon.

I couldn't help but laugh. My nurse is 6 1/2 months pregnant and our bellies are literally the same size. I said people are going to be confused when I go from huge from bloat to normal when bloat goes away back to big from an actually baby belly. Hopefully no one asks if I am pregnant because to say "oh 4 weeks" would be embarrassing.

So... let's hope and pray this thing fixes itself on it's own because I really don't want to get my ovaries drained although I know it won't hurt me or the baby.

OHSS...Oh how I hate you...

I gained 4 lbs since yesterday. They said to call if it's over 3 lbs so I have to wait until noon when they open today. I might have to go get my ovaries drained. I am SO insanely uncomfortable. I cannot sleep. I cannot move I feel like. My stomach is so tight I cannot stand up straight. I can only eat a few bites of food before feeling full. I know it's because my stomach is being crowded by my huge enlarged ovaries. I pray this goes away soon because I am absolutely miserable. I've read that with getting a BFP, it gets worse from the hcg. Hopefully this is the worst because I am so miserable. But every second is worth it to see a positive test.

On a very happy note, I have continued to take tests and the line continues to get darker so people, this might be the real deal. I've been taking pictures but I just have to upload them at some point.

6dt5dt

I am cautiously going to say that I took a test this morning and got two lines. I've never before in my life seen my own positive pregnancy test so I am beyond excited to see a positive test. I feel like we have to wait forever until my beta next Wednesday and am going to continue to test for my own peace of mind. For right now, I am pregnant and that is a huge step in the right direction because I have never gotten this far.

The past day has been very difficult physically. OHSS has gotten much worse and I definitely have a pop belly now. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. I keep getting hot flashes and nausea. My stomach has a very tight feeling and random cramps. I'm doing everything they told me to do so hopefully it gets a little better. I did read that if you get a positive pregnancy test, OHSS will most likely get worse before it gets better.

4dp5dt

Is there a fast forward button? I am going crazy here! I'd love if this week just flew by!

Today, I had to go to La Jolla for my progesterone blood draw. Everything looks good and I am staying on the same amount of progesterone.

I have to say, I really like the nurses there. I'm sure I've said it before but they are so funny and nice. I get along with them all so well. The nurse who told me not to cheat and test early asked me if I plan to cheat. I just smiled. I said I don't know yet but if I did, I am sure I wouldn't be the first. Another nurse chimed in, "and you would not be the last". They said just don't test too early. I told them I was thinking this weekend I would. She said, if it's positive, be cautiously excited. If it's negative, don't get crushed because we aren't out of the game until beta. I said, I am pretty optimistic, they gave us a great chance... over 80%. She just smiled and said, yes, they did. She said, speaking of, how do you feel about twins? I said I would love it. She said, and Brett? I said he would love it even more. So... we still haven't decided when but we are going to cheat and test early. We are going to the store tonight and will probably pick up some tests then. It'll be very hard to not do them when Brett is at work the next two days!

When I was telling Brett about my conversation with the nurses, he just smiled so big and said "I love you". I know he is trying to be neutral and not get his hopes up but I can tell that he is getting excited.

Speaking of excited.... my mother in-law is so excited. Her and I talked today for 3 hours. I told her we are cheating and testing early but didn't tell her when. She kept trying to trick me. I'm sort of known for not being good at holding secrets so she kept trying to be sly about it but not this time. I said I'd like to keep something a surprise and just be able to call them without them knowing what day to say they are going to be grandparents. She is very set on thinking it's Sunday the 12th since that is Grandparent's day.

Please little embryos... I hope you are snuggled in there nicely now and making your home for the next 9 months!

As far as symptoms, none. I feel great actually. Less bloated and even wearing blue jeans today (which haven't been fitting due to bloat). Brett keeps asking, well, do you feel pregnant? Unfortantely, nope but I'm not discouraged by that.

Frosties

Just got a call from the embryologist. The 7 they were keep an eye on, only 3 progressed but were considered poor quality. I am a little bummed but we do have the two good quality ones they froze yesterday.

I guess that means B and I's discussions back and forth for hours about embryo adoption, discarding or research weren't really too needed.

I am already bored on bed rest. I like to do things for myself and B doesn't know how to cook and gets flustered trying so it looks like fast food and take out is on the menu til tomorrow night or Tuesday.

Embryo Transfer done!

We got there at 9:30, right on time and had to wait about a half hour. They were running behind with the embryo transfer before ours. The embryologist called us back and discussed everything with us.

We have three they are discarding because they arrested. 2 blastocysts and 7 that they will watch to see about freezing them tomorrow.

We transferred two blastocysts... they are hatching blastocysts which she said is great and even ahead of schedule. They shouldn't have began hatching until the end of the day so she said they look great.

B and I went back to the room. I got in my gown, he got in his scrubs. We waited for a little while and they did an ultrasound to make sure my bladder was full enough. Yeah, that's not fun when you do have a full bladder!

The Dr. and embryologist came in. B got to look at the embryo's through a microscope. I'm so jealous. I would have loved to see them. And we got to watch on the screen as they inserted them into my uterus. We even got some pictures. It's hard to tell what they are but we know where they are and will cherish them.

We are both so very excited. Brett made smile so big today. He walked downstairs in his "Where ever you go, whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be with you". I said is that your lucky charm? He said oh stop making fun of me but I know he wore it on purpose.

I am home now, laying on the couch. B went to go pick us up lunch. So now, we wait....progesterone draw is next Wednesday and pregnancy test is on the 15th at 7:40am.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

I'll love ya tomorrow... it's only a day away!!

I am beyond excited to have our embryos transferred tomorrow. I told myself I wasn't going to call yesterday to get a report but, if you know me, you know I don't have patience so, I called. The lady is so nice and explains everything so well.

Out of our 14 embryos, 13 are good and 1 is fair. She said most likely only 60% of them will become blastocysts.

I've been feeling like crap all week so really haven't done anything productive so today I am going to spend the day catching up. I just scrubbed the kitchen (B better keep it clean when he is doing the cooking for the next couple days!). I'm going to vacuum the entire house, top to bottom and finish up all the laundry. I love having a clean house so not being able to clean for a little bit will be hard, definitely with Sierra (our dog). She sheds like crazy and half of downstairs is hardwood floors, half is carpet so clumps of hair pile up in the corners of the hardwood floors if I don't vacuum or swifer every day. Brett is working on the car all weekend putting a new camshaft on and will have a friend here so I doubt he will want to vacuum or swifer. We always joke because he asks why I am cleaning... he doesn't consider it dirty ever. He said he has never seen our house dirty. But, I don't really take his opinion to heart. Here's a little story as to why:

When we got married, we lived downstairs at his parents. His room was always so dirty. He didn't put clothes in the dresser. They were like piles of clothes everywhere so one day, I spent the entire day cleaning the room. We got rid of bags of clothes, organized things. Well, I was cleaning behind a little wood stove that is down there and I found.... the skeleton to a mouse! Brett and his mom were upstairs and I screamed bloody murder. I picked it up with a paper towel and brought it upstairs. He laughed so hard. Thought it was hysterical. Lord knows how long it had been back there. So nasty!!

Anyways, I'll update tomorrow after our embryo transfer.

I am blessed

Sitting around being a bum since Monday has allowed me to do a lot of thinking and I've been thinking, I am so blessed. I love my life and I love the people in my life.

B has been so great the past couple days. He is so excited. I am a little scared that if this doesn't work, he is going to take it horribly. But, I refuse to think it's not going to work. I am focused on that this will work and this will be it for us. If you know Brett, you know how much our SS and his motorcycle mean to him. I call them his babies. Well, he has been talking about selling his motorcycle. At first, I thought he was just saying that but wouldn't go through with it. Today he tells me, a Sgt at his work is interested in it. He says that it's too dangerous and not worth it. He already has a risky job and if he can avoid the added risk, he will. I told him that whatever he decides, I support. The guys think I am making him but he keeps saying it's his decision and I never said a word about it. It makes me so happy to see him thinking in that way because I love how much he loves his bike and how much he loves riding. He is going to be such a great daddy some day... (and hopefully that day is in May 2011).

Our families all know about our journey and are involved each step of the way. To hear the excitement in our families voices when we have good news, makes me realized how loved we are. For goodness sake, my mother already went and bought some baby stuff. This will be the first grandchild for Brett's parents and talking to Brett's mom, every time we talk about getting pregnant I can just hear that she has a smile on her face. I'm not sure what I would do without our families. They've helped us so much each step of the way and I know will continue to be there for us, whether the outcome is good or bad.