I am sure I am just over emotional because there is a lot going on right now plus I am sure the meds don't help but this afternoon, I've been having one big ol' meltdown. I miss my family. I wish my family was close by while going through this. We are a very close family and I am especially close with my oldest sister and her daughters. We talk every day and she is always there to listen to what is going on with me. I am very happy to say that she is moving to Arizona in October so only a 5 hour drive away but still, not the same.

When Brett was deployed and I was living back home, I was with them almost every single day. I even watched my nieces for 11 days when Kristy and her husband went to Hawaii. I grew so close to them. So, to look at pictures, watch them on skype or talk to them on the phone makes me realize that I am missing so much. Tatum (my two year old niece) is growing so much and starting to talk a ton. She even will talk to me on the phone now. She doesn't say much and what she does say, I don't always understand but she says HI a lot and of course, Uncle Brett. She tells knock knock jokes and thinks she is hilarious. She says "knock knock". I say "whose there?" she says "banana apple" and starts laughing really hard. Mackenzie is getting so big. She is about to be stinkin' 5 years old. Where the heck did time go? I feel like she was just born!

The more and more I see my nieces and nephew, the more I cannot wait until we have children of our own. I can't imagine how much I am going to love them because I love my nieces and nephew more then anything so my own children... ugh! I can't wait! I can't wait to have our children to watch grown and learn new things. I am going to cherish every single moment. I am excited to see Brett as a dad. He was so cute yesterday. He said how happy he is that I will be pregnant soon (we talk like it's for sure going to happen because I have to be positive and think this will be it for us because we can't go through an IVF. We can't afford to). He was saying how he can't wait to cuddle and play with a baby but once that diaper gets all squishy, he'll hand them over to me. I said no way, it doesn't work that way! I know he is kidding although I am very interested in seeing him change a diaper. He has never changed a diaper before but know he will help out.

Today we were talking about the Marine Corps ball in November. He should be picking up rank on October 1st and is pretty happy about that. He can't wait to look sharp in those dress blues and I said, well I might not look so hot. If this works, I'd be around 12 weeks pregnant. I don't know how much you show at 12 weeks or if you show at all but I promised him I'd get all dolled up, hair, make up and everything to look as good as he does in his blues.

Also in November, I am planning on making a trip to Arizona. I think I'll get a one way ticket and go the week before Thanksgiving for Miss. Mackenzie's 5th birthday party then Brett can drive over the week of Thanksgiving with Sierra (our dog) then we can drive back together after Thanksgiving and Hildon's (my sister Jeannie's son) gotcha-day the day after thanksgiving. For those of you who do not know, Hildon is adopted and a gotcha day is the day that the adoption was finalized. His real gotcha day is Thanksgiving this year but she is most likely celebrating the day after. Hopefully my sister Amanda and her husband will travel to Arizona for Thanksgiving so we can have the entire family together. It's hard with everyone married. We haven't hard every single person together for a long time. In fact, I want to say it was the year we got married when Jeannie and Matt traveled to Alaska with Matt's parents and Aubree. Tatum wasn't around yet so I guess that doesn't count. One person is usually missing. Everyone was together last Christmas minus Brett. So, we are in need of an entire family get together.

Okay well I'm blabbing now... I suppose that is all.